Rehearsal's tomorrow...

For the freshie night.

I'm not even ready for it....

Well, though i did not have the chance to go anywhere near the concert, Rain's concert was apparently a blast. So, Jud says...She's his biggest fan i know yet, so, coming from her, it has to be all good. :)

Also, i miss all my close friends!!! WHere have ALL of you been???! OK, fine...i know that half of them are at college and the other half are enjoying whatever time they have left before embarking for the national service and later intakes to college...BUT! I still miss them anyway. I miss all the fun!! The jokes we all shared! *sigh*

By the way, we had English lesson the other day and we were writing this summary and note taking of the topic- MUSIC. It points out that music is a way of transporting us from reality to a world only we know exist- the music world. Music unites all cultures regardless of who's who in the world today. It encourages us, gives us hope, instills pride deep in our souls and it is our way of expressing our feelings; a form of communication with the world as a whole. I find it true as music has its ways of touching us deep down inside without us knowing it. It tells us stories, pass on legends and connects us to the magical world where hopes and dreams are everywhere.

It brings people from different cultural backgrounds as well as beliefs to unite as a whole with just one simple language- MUSIC. It makes us happy, contented, excited, sad and helps us express ourselves easily without having the need to visit the thearapist. It's free and it's a universal phenomenon.

So, if you ever feel down and out, listen to music. Listen to the music that would help you calm down and make you feel at ease and peaceful. With that, it'll take you to a far away place where everything is possible and you will learn to believe and hold to your hopes and dreams. :)

Since my blog is boring with no nice pictures...i'll post some to blow some steam off...

Wakakakakakak!!! I know i know...it's bellz...eheheheh...I'm tempted to have what he is having in the picture now...do you think it'll help me forget my sorrows?

Stressed up...

i don't remember being as stressed as i feel now since SPM was over. The best part of it all is that i am not even having exams now! I'm stressed over not having the music for the song i am going to perform! *SOB*

I have no idea how i am going to perform without the music!! I hate it!! I was suppose to study and just plain study and yet i spent half of the day or maybe more, checking out from everyone whether they have the song or not!! *SOB**SOB*

God help me...

Pls COME BACK!!!

I can NOT wait for my maid to come back home. I am very very grateful for all the things that she has done for our whole family. Without her, i wouldn't say i'd die considering the fact that i am still very much alive and well. However, the better way of putting it would be that, it would be a little difficult for the rest of us. It's not easy to juggle between the time to relax, to wash the dishes, to sweep the floor, to chat on the phone, to mop the floor, to iron the clothes, to cook, to wash the bathroom and to wash the clothes, hang 'em and wash the cars after spending half of the day working at the office/studying/socializing.

NOT EASY AT ALL!!!

I salute any and perhaps, every family that manage to organise their time to somehow take care of the house chores as well as their daily jobs. I am truly impressed.

Today was how i would call a day - Bittersweet. There was some misunderstanding between the 3 of us towards the end of the day. But thankfully, all worked out well in the end. At the cafeteria, BT and i had the laugh of our lives. JH from Sandakan, i think, was entertaining us with his jokes and he made us laugh till i had my sides aching like i did a 1000 sit-ups. (Not that i know how that feels like...but you get the idea) i have not laughed so much and SO hard for the longest time!!! It actually made me feel a little lightheaded and perhaps a little numb after a while. XD...i really enjoyed myself...LOL...

For my performance on the 31st, i am getting a tiny bit worried. My "manager" @ WN's computer was corrupted with virus and i now can't get the music i need to sing!! *SOB* If we did acapella, it would probably sound odd!! Sighh...that'll be the last resort i never want to go to...Hopefully all shall go well by this weekend!!! *cross-fingers*

I'm tired...

All i had to do was to attend one class today and yet it seems as if i went for one hundred. I'm exhausted.

Tomorrow there would be an editorial meeting. I'm currently too tired to think/feel how i would be like tomorrow. It'll be some briefing session since they have yet to recruit new freshies (as they like to refer to the new students) like me. That way, i have a feeling i would be skipping and missing MS classes...i don't know whether i should be happy about it...

Well, then on Friday, they have the student council briefing session too. There would be interviews conducted to recruit members and from the way Jean told me about her interview at her college, i'm getting worried. Lately, i have been stressing about the pettiest thing and i have a strong feeling it is the cause of the pimples i am having now. NOT a good sign.

At least everything went well today. I woke up way early and when i finally decided to go to college, there was no freaking parking! I had to trouble BT to go to the main foyer to see whether they have taken the "FULL" signboard away. I waited for almost half an hour until when i took the final round, the guard must have recognised me since i took more than 5 rounds, he opened the cones for me to drive through. Sigh...you have no idea how grateful, relieved and happy i was! Then i had to rush to the cafeteria to meet up with my new "manager" WN. LOL...she's really really helpful and extremely enthusiastic about whatever she is doing for me. She's really great to me and without her, i may have to suffer for quite a bit. Thank goodness she came to me and is now my personal "assistant". LOL....she's great.
THANKS WN!!!! *hugs*

I guess i better get off before i fall on the keyboard...

Housework=chore=pain in the ass

That is the equation i came up with after a quarter day's work. All i did was sweep the floor with a broom that has splits of ...whatever sprouting out and it rubbed against my hands pretty bad and it bloody hell hurts. URGH!

Well, the freshie night is coming soon! Sadly, no outsiders allowed. Bummer. I guess it works just as fine since Drugs's prom won't allow outsiders too. :`( But man...i was hoping we could all trash the party...

And yes, about the previous post....I am leaving everything to fate. I realise now that well, great things happens to those who don't expect it. And it happens to those who believe it. So, with a little more faith and hope in myself, i am confident that things would work out just fine. :)

May all who are down and feel the world is turning its back against you, have faith and have hope!! There's always a silver lining behind every dark/gloomy cloud!! Cheer up and all shall be well!!

Is it true?

People always say that we should always believe in love, never expect it and it will always come our way...but is it really true?

How do we define believe in love? IS it the thought that there is a possible chance of you and him/her being together? And how would you know whether the other person is interested in you? Eye contact? Even then, how would you know for sure the person is looking in your eyes? Or rather, how would you know whether the guy is actually interested to look at you and not just plain looking around?

SIGH.....I wish someone had the answer to all my woes. Wouldn't life be so much easier if we could read minds? But then, others would argue:"where's the fun at that?" SIGH...WHERE IS THE FUN NOT KNOWING HOW THE OTHER IS FEELING????!!!!

It's just so darn frustrating when the other party is not showing OBVIOUS signs that he is interested. I'm not expecting the guy to be holding a big cardboard with words in Bold saying :" I am interested in you!!" Hell no. Though that would make life tonnes easier to go on. But can't he at least just...damn it...SHOW SigNS!!! Like, stare at me when he think i don't notice or find some way to sit in a place where he can have a good view of me or find a way to sit directly in front of me or near me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He looks at me when i look at him. BUt How in the world would i know whether he is just looking at me because i happen to turn around, and you know, the movement caught his eye and thus he stares at me or whether because he really wants to look at me??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! FRUS NEEEERRRR!!!!!!!

Men....and they say it's so difficult to understand women....*grumble*

And everything goes on...

Despite the fact that i am the worst possible driver around, my dad allowed me to give driving another chance. Or rather, HE gave me another chance to drive his car with extra care. To give myself another chance to learn from my mistakes.

I love him so much for that. *beam*

On a different matter, i can only say one thing about accounts class. NOT EASY!
I mean, who knew the subject was such a pain in the ass, literally?!
And i thought that subjects like Chemistry, Biology and Physics was difficult. I was SO wrong.
I had two different classes today with a break in between and even then i felt worn out and my ass hurt so bad. It felt as if i had been on the hard rock chair for almost 6hours straight! Which of course i didn't. But gosh! I should invest in a cushion and bring it along with me for every class. LOL! XD

So, since college now has this freshie night going on, SY has finally decided to join me to be one of the sesat freshie queens. :D We wanted BT to join us too and i really really hope she would, but she has to have a general meeting with her family first before she decides so, *fingers crossed!*

I was pretty serious about being one of the candidate and i suppose i took it too far. It ate me up inside and i felt less confident and anxious and all my feelings had gone haywire. But now, thanks to Jud and everyone else's advice, I feel SOOOOO much better. (THANKS JUD! And THANKS YUEN YEE!!) :)

Even before the event and i have already learnt something really valuable.

I'm So proud of myself. :D

Bad day...

For all the things that has happened to me today, i can only have it all summed up in two simple words: bad day. What's worst is that everything that happened was all because of my fault. I was the cause of every darn damage i did to myself. I can't even put any blame to anyone! Or anything!!

It all started like how every bad day would start off-being late. So, rushing like some mad woman that i was, i drove like a maniac too. I had near misses of accidents and i am very lucky to escape with nothing but a minor heart attack; exaggeration on my part. Nevertheless, it scared me. When i am in a state of rushing, my mind gets pretty jammed up too. So, when i finally found a parking space, i knocked the curb. probably a little too hard. And the bumper or something, fell off. It's not the whole piece. Just a very small one. But gosh...it was pretty bad.

In a state of panic because i was late and because i damaged my dad's car, i forgot to lock the car. Before my class started, i ran to my car and ended up sweating like a fat pig in class. The teacher was staring at me sweating after my excuse to supposedly go to the loo. XD

Well, after that, i felt down and had a moment of low self-esteem. Nothing to be proud of at all. It felt horrible. I was taking things too seriously and got myself into some depression. Silly me.

I wonder if anyone was scared of themselves. I know i am. I'm scared of the way i drive. I'm pretty crazy on the road. I'm really thankful to be alive and well after all my nightmare driving. I ought to take my driving lessons again....sigh...

so difficult!

Well, then again, no one said that anything was easy in the first place. Dang...

It's raining now. The connection here is worst than ever. To think that maybe by using the laptop everything would be easier. BULL! It's just as bad. The com is having trouble playing every darn thing i want and the laptop's connection is at a snail's pace. What more can i ever need to test my patience!! *growl*

What is bothering me is that i can hardly download anything! Or rather, i dare not. For, all the times that the com breaks down because of some stupid virus, i have a feeling i may have been the culprit. I hate to admit it! I don't even know why.

So now, the damn computer is giving me a nasty headache and not even 10 pills of panadol would help me cure it. It is driving me nuts! Perhaps in the near future, what all the researchers or the inventors should come up is a computer or laptop that has impact proof. Because i can tell you, not everyone has good anger management. It is proven! People nowadays are losing most of their patience because of the computer! And what's funny is that those days computer was very much welcomed because it supposedly helped us to ease the headaches we had with keeping tonnes of files and remembering facts, storing files, keeping in touch with family members overseas. But it's ironic that everything is as such now.

So much for convenience...

In college

Ok, so this shall be the first time i am posting straight from college. Difference? Let's see, i can hardly tell. Except for the fact that possibly anyone and everyone has the chance to peep to view anything the other is doing. So technically, no privacy.

Oh ya, have i mentioned that there is a certain someone around here that is viewing some site that or friendster or someone's handphone that is giving out some very...silly and slowly growing irritating kind of music? I might get insane because of it.

So now, SY, BT and i are now at the lab taking advantage of the free access to the internet by well, going online. We have yet to find out a way of getting access to download MSN which apparently the seniors are the only ones who know about it. Ishh...

Anyway, on my personal achievements so far, which Dadah is very proud of me, i managed to finish all the stories that she had given me in, let's see, less than a week!! Wheee~... I cannot even begin to explain how happy and relieved i am to finally finish all the stories!! I love every single story i have read and well, seeing the rate at which i stare at the computer and the time taken each day just to complete each of the stories, i say i better not get any other links to read any other story. It's too dangerous. I might end up wearing a thicker lens by the time i reach 20. So, no thank you.

Since classes are to begin in a short while, i better ciao now!

Balloon War!!!

That was exactly what we had today as one of the activities organised for us as part of the orientation programme. It was fun. Surprisingly. Though it would have been better if i could step on and burst more than just one balloon. Even then, it was almost close to the end of the game. What's funny was that another friend and i were practically wrestling like monsters with this petite innocent looking girl who only had a balloon left on her leg. We actually grabbed on to her and tried ever so hard to burst it and after so many failed attempts, we gave up and allowed her to weakly jog away from us evil crazy people.

For those you have never heard of this balloon war game, it is actually pretty simple to comprehend. All you have to do is have a few large group of people, perferably more than 6 to a group of more than about 5. So, get few packets of balloons and have each player 2 balloons for one for each ankle. The rule of the game is that you can't build yourselves a fort to protect each balloon you have because after all, the winner would be the group who has the most balloons left and it would be of no fun if everyone were to only stay put to one place and only defend no attacker. So, as simple as it is, you simply have a referee to blow the whistle to start the game and let the war begin!! You dart off at random aiming for the nearest balloon and start stepping really hard till it bursts and at the same time you have to protect what you still have.

After a certain time, when the referee/judge can see that most balloons are pretty much gone, the game stops and the group with the most balloons left would be deemed the winner!! Wheeee~....

So there you have it about the balloon war. I may not be a 100% acurate as to how and what the rules of the game are but this was what i remembered from today's activity. Very exhilarating! :)

We had plently of other games to keep us occupied and had a chance to know other people from different states as well as different countries. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. SO much so that i was so exhausted and sleepy when they had the library tour. Hmmmm....Or maybe it was the guy's voice? .....Nahh...definitely sleepy from exhaustion. Yup...definitely.

Well, i am finally done with both the story the coincidence and angel of caffeine!!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!!! LOVED IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!! And still DO!! Wheeeee~........................ Highly recommended!!!!!!!! But then again...i malas to have the links here...so, whatever!!!! I LOVE the stories anyway!! Thanks DADAH!!!!!!! A million thanks to you for introducing the stories to me and Yuts!! Love you to bits!!! XD

Well, i am now reading the stupid post it notes that is very surprisingly like a potential thick novel more than a shortish story like the rest. So, it's taking awhile. Can't wait to finish it too!! ;D Whheee~

When oh when can i go out again? When oh when can that be??

Now, i am feeling very disorientated. And you know what's funny? I am not even in a new country that is foreign to me. Neither have i moved to a new state whereby i know nothing much except for the locations of the nearest McDs. I am still living in the same place, though now, i am moving on to my tertiary level of studies. I have not started any of my classes so, i am still clueless as to how the subjects and the teachers are going to be like.

So back to feeling disorientated. Well, to begin with, my feelings and thoughts are all well...mixed up. Basically, i am confused.

I had hoped to begin my new year anew. You know, the whole turn over a new leaf concept. Not that i was a criminal wanted for first degree murder and now i hope to live life as a normal person, no. But i had hoped that the new year would come in like a big bang. Like a big bomb exploded on my face (figuratively speaking!!!) and i see a bright light at the end of the dark tunnel and i finally, yes finally!, decide to take the new year in full force as a new person. Like a new born baby.

I wanted that feeling.

But i fail to feel it.

And i am quite upset.
And not to mention and forget, DISORIENTATED and CONFUSED!

Well, it's never to late yeS? MUst be POSITIVE! +!! *motivated*

So i have my schedule ready and i only have to wait for classes to begin to report more about it. I don't even know who the rest of my classmates are! There are some korean and Jap guys at my college. IT's so easy to spot them not only from their speech and language but also from how they look! I mean, majority of them have mata sepet ,no? VERY CUTE!!! kekekeke!

It's a definite good thing to have all sorts of people around you. Maybe i could learn more korean words? WHeeeee!!!

gosh!

So it has been quite awhile

It has certainly been a long period of time since i last successfully logged in to publish a post. I have, to be honest, managed to log in in the past but could never, for some strange reason, bring myself to complete a post. Lazy? Nah, the word is out of my vocabulary. I no longer shall associate with the word. The L-word is and shall be a word so foreign i would never have a need to mention it nor pronounce it at any time. Therefore, the aforesaid word shall now be deemed: "the L-word". ( At the background, i can picture Dadah in two possible scenes:
Scene 1:hitting her forehead so hard she might just fall backwards from her chair at the impact.
Scene 2: Slapping me hard on both sides of my cheeks. *ouch!!!*)

Well, i can be pretty-ok, so maybe VERY- silly at times. In fact, i am almost to the point of being childish even though i have long passed my childhood age. Result from a deprived childhood? Doubt it. I'm just young at heart. HA!

Soooo, a new year has begun! Funny how i didn't quite feel the usual hype of the whole " beginning of a new year". It just wasn't there. Instead, it felt just like how it did last year. But as how it is every beginning of a new year, He has something in mind for me. Last year was to test me on my leadership quality at and in which i felt i failed terribly. This year, i am being tested on my patience. YUP. Patience.

I'm losing my patience bit by bit. I am slowly being impatient and selfish. I notice the change in me and i DO NOT like what and how i am feeling. Perhaps it is another one of those hormonal changing period? Is it even a trick question?! I don't know.

Hopefully, this year would go on as smoothly and as harm-free as possible. Till the next post.